lost

i lost 3 pounds this week.

we lost the piggy early saturday morning.

i'm lost.

day four

ww is great. if you read here, you know i weigh myself daily but only "weigh in" on mondays and only record once a month. but i'm down 3 pounds already in the first blush of a new diet, as it goes. i'm eating much more than i had been. and of course making better choices.

my piggy is doing better, taking a lot of food (via syringe behind her teeth) and brightening up for her favorite people. she's been sick for well over a week now and her continued life is a good indicator that she's actually improving, even if it's hard to tell.

other than that... i'm tired. i'm tired of the community theater. i'm tired of school. i'm tired of work. i'm tired of housework.

weight watchin'

i officially joined weight watchers online this morning for three months. i'll probably renew for another month after that to get to my goal, and one more to settle in to maintenance.

my starting weight was 156.5, and my first goal is 148.7.

ww says you can expect a loss of 1-2 pounds a week after the first two weeks, so i'm kinda hoping for a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE drop in the first two. wouldn't you?

unlike a million other losers out there, i have never, ever done weight watchers. that makes me hopeful, though, because i've never been on a ww where you could game the system easily, so i don't know how. points+ looks like a solid plan. i'm optimistic.

my term is over now and the reading i performed in was last night. now i just have to get this play up and i'm free 2 nights a week plus my brain can relax. of course, by then i'll be taking accounting for nonprofits and law & the arts. hooray.

our guinea pig is quite sick right now, so that's an added layer. my feelings of not-keeping-up and amplified by the realization that her tiny 2-pound self managed to lose 1/2 a pound before we realized she wasn't well. we're not out of the woods yet, but we're lucky she didn't die. i can't help but feel like if i'd been home, if i'd been in the room where she lives instead of at my desk... i took responsibility for this creature. i should have paid better attention. we think she was sick for two or three days before we noticed.

fortunately, we have a great vet (he's literally saved her life twice already) and my husband is able to take time off to take care of her. no kidding- he took a sick day today to syringe feed her the organic babyfood i made her every 90 minutes to help her gain the weight back. and he's dropper feeding her clementine juice, too.

anyway... i joined weight watchers.

i don't even know, man

fact: grad school is kicking my ass.

i have not cleaned since christmas time. i have obviously *really* gained ten pounds. i have not finished unpacking. i've also been (foolishly?) volunteering, interning and directing a play. now i'm "acting" in a reading, too. i work out 2-3 times a week-- HARD-- and i'm sure that's all that's keeping me from spiraling out of control.

finals are this week. by sunday, i'll be free for a whole ten days. i've ordered an ipod shuffle to download c25k workouts on. and i'm going to join either the self "drop 10" (which i think is free) or weight watchers online. (on sunday, so i have a minute to decide.)

that memorial day 5k is going to be my victory lap. i am going to weigh no more than 135 pounds on may 30th. and then i'm going to maintain. forever.

28 x 28

i've been thinking for a while about what 28 things i'd like to accomplish before my 28th birthday is 365 days. (2012 is a leap year, right?) (like how i slipped that in there? my birthday was yesterday.) i'm working on a list, but as of this morning, there are 28 very specific things i want to accomplish before my 28th birthday.

28 pounds. i want to lose 28 pounds. i want to make it to 130 and STAY THERE. i'm up to 158. and i don't even know where to start.

i am overwhelmed right now. with school. with work. with my "volunteer" activities. with housekeeping. with my taxes. with my weight. i feel like i'm off track. i KNOW i'm off track. i want back on track, but i can't get there for a couple years. this is one thing i have to have back on track right away.

but i don't know where to start.

i suck at weekends

TWICE this weekend i drank stupidly-- switching between drinks, drinking while food is available to me, not drinking water or seltzer in between-- and NATURALLY i gained about three pounds.

after i spent two hours trying on clothes and having nothing at all fit me right (items that fit across my thighs need to be taken in a solid 3 inches in the waist) on saturday, too.

and i just got invited to a grade school (k-8th catholic school) reunion in less than 3 weeks. it would be super nice to, oh, i dunno, not still be the fattest one. that would be nice.

so, okay, TODAY it's 154.8. i expect it to drop considerably tomorrow. and i'll start jogging. and spinning's wednesday.

this is just not going well.

okay, okay!

i didn't blog last week because... i was up. up like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY up. in the 157.something. not a nice place.

this week, i'm at 152.8. my 2011 weight barrier. yippeeeeeeeee! and this week? i'm crashing through that mthrfkr. oh. yes. i. am.

i've been training with my brother-trainer at his new gym again. new gym has a different philosophy-- heavy weights, isolation and few reps. and in a couple weeks i'm back to spinning. and. for my birthday, i'm getting myself a 5k on memorial day. so i have to be training asapsies. plus, i still go to the gym with K once a week (ish). and as soon as it warms up for real, B and i will start walking again!

but, i find, i can work out like a pro athlete (okay, possibly an exaggeration) and still not lose weight unless i'm SO CAREFUL about my food. so. i'm just going to be that careful. going well so far...