high hopes

i had such high hopes. i guess i can still hope, but i'm going to have to ROCK my diet & water today. like, whoa. and that's going to be tough.

let me 'splain.

1. i weighed 164.2 for three days in the last week (friday, saturday & sunday)-- a NEW (this time) LOW! hence: high hopes.
2. today it's 166.2, but yesterday was a party for my brother and, though i could have done worse, there were some really fucking good sweets there, i think i ate a brownie, two blondies, a small sundae and... a blueberry crumb bar & a half. and two cookies. and hoagie (i ate ONE slice). i stuck to seltzer & veggies for several hours, though. and i only had two glasses of wine and... chex mix. but we all know that weight gained in a day (two WHOLE pounds: 7000 calories) can disappear in a day with clean eating and water.
3. so, why it's going to be hard... this is a week when i feel like i really *deserve* treats. why? because i went to the dentist today for the first time in 9 years. i have my first cavity... and my second, third & fourth. and i need to wear a night guard... forever. sexy, no? and i have to get my wisdom teeth out. i asked, how much to i really NEED to? dentist replied, that depends, how much do you want to die? ah. apparently my impaction is such that it's impossible to keep clean and an infection might not be noticed until it reached my throat and then i could suffocate. joy. TOMORROW i'm getting my annual. you know, from "the grown-up doctor" as my mom says. i love dr. l, but i'm running low on xanax! and how much can you really LOVE someone who's coming at you with a speculum and giant mascara brush?? oh, and those fillings? wednesday. SOMEBODY better buy me a margarita or six after this week.

bonus news: i start spinning THIIIIIIIIS WEEEEEEK! i hope to have some pretty bangin' legs by ssil's shower in a month. i'd love to wear my riding boots and a skirt. or this one red dress i have...

what else, what else... my uncle (who is awkward, socially, but gay so i'm not creeped out by this, and who also struggles with his weight) commented that i look "very trim and tight" since the last time he saw me about a month ago! HOORAY! my sister remains about twice my size and still nowhere near as pretty as me AND will apparently not finish grad school before i do! (to "hooray" that would be mean, but i'm doing my chair dance of inappropriate glee right now.) and... i'm stretching here, but... my birthday is at the end of next week and, if patterns hold, i will have good chunk of clothing gift cards to spend when i get down to sizes i don't own yet. AWESOME.

so, to recap: i'd love to see 164 tomorrow. and then lose 5 pounds in the first two weeks of spinning so i can be under 160 for my birthday. after that, under 150 by the end of april and close to (or below) 145 by mid-to-late may. 135 or a size 8 some time this summer.

dear spinning gods:
please to let me lose weight like everyone says i will. thanks a billion.
becklette