i do believe my ass is bruised

yesterday was awful. after the dentist, i moped and pouted. we're postponing our big italy trip until AFTER grad school. it's too much money and too much stress. i'm heartbroken. we ate pizza and fries. we had a huge argument about me being heartbroken. mean things were said. i cried off all my mascara. we made up.

and off i went to spinning.

e had said she might drop the class if it wasn't up to her pace, but she had a physical for her new job and found out that she gained 15 pounds when she quit smoking. so she's not. that's really happy news for me. sad for her, of course.

okay, spinning.

so, we got to the gym and the front desk guy takes one look at us and is like, oh, you're here for spinning cause clearly YOU don't belong. we were like fish out of water. fat, out-of-shape fish.

he directed us to the locker room where we shoved our bags and jackets in a shared locker. co-dependent much? then he told us to go right back... and we sheepishly had to ask, uh, go where? when we found the room we regretted missing our chance to take the 7pm, not because it was earlier, but because maybe it didn't smell like this then...

a sweaty, fat guy adjusted our bikes for us (back & center with a clear line to the mirror but no one to see our asses) while a jon hamm look-alike signed us all in. the spin instructor shall heretofore be called "hm" for "hot mike." there were 12 of us in the class with hm-- one middle aged dude, 5 young women (three skinny including one i knew from the classes in the fall, me & e) and six middle aged women of varying degrees of fitness.

so we all pedaled for a while, it's like ten of eight at this point, while he checked out form and such. my ass hurt already. e's, uh, something ELSE hurt. we giggled and made trouble in the back. of course. at about 8 hm took us through the basic positions and whatnot. there was... sitting, crouching, standing, leaning too far forward to reasonable be safe and, i dunno, maybe something else. those aren't their real names. i was too busy not dying to catch them.

hm told us we could sit down and pedal slowly for 30 seconds if we needed a rest. it reminded me of jillian. right then and there a couple of the middle aged ladies DID. i felt smug and grateful that i wasn't first. i was sweating. EVERYWHERE. (oh and this is about when two of the middle aged ladies arrived all like, oh! i thought class was at 8:10!)

we did our first climb which was like, sit, crouch, stand, crouch sit, turn up the resistance, repeat 3 times. then we took the resistance down slowly and did a bunch of other stuff. i regretted the pizza and feared it would make an encore performance. at around 8:30 i took a little sit (nearly everyone had except the dude, one super-fit middle aged lady and e). so did one of the late ladies. then she got off the bike and sat down on the steps. with her head between her knees. hm checked on her. so did her two friends. then they all left the room. then the other one who had been lat came back to announce that she was going to the ladies' room to be sick.

and i felt smug and grateful that it wasn't me.

all of a sudden i realized we were cooling down! and then stretching! it was amazing. we got off the bikes to do a couple more stretches and, whoa, it was like getting off a boat. crazy. and then... hm told us "great job, ladies!" undoubtedly making the one dude feel silly, and we hobbled out.

it was fucking incredible. i'm SO SAD the other class got canceled.


in other news:

• i rescheduled my dental work for easter monday, by which point i will have a bonus and my tax refund.
• my husband ate 5 of the no-pudge brownies i made and put in the freezer and has eaten 4 slices of ezekiel bread each of the past two days, two for lunch and two with oil and a beer as a bedtime snack. i hate to be like this, but COME THE FUCK ON! it's like having a hybrid suv! sure, of you legitimately NEED an suv, by all means please get a hybrid, but do you really NEED to eat three diet brownies at a pop? when there are regular ones in the freezer, too? do you NEED the 400 calorie bedtime carb/alcohol snack? i don't make diet brownies so you can eat MORE brownies, i made them so i could eat ONE!
• my mom complimented my will-power over the weekend... i don't think she saw when i ate 2 cookies, 2 blondies, 1.5 blueberry bars, a peanut butter brownie and a small oreo sundae. still felt good.

so, focus: meet targets! water! schedule with bk for an ARM DAY tomorrow, since he sneakily gave me an ab day tuesday!