choices

last night, i only wanted to do two things: snack and sleep.

seriously, after dinner (a dinner that went above and beyond the plan-- not in a good way), the thought of my scheduled 20 minute run made me whine and weep.

"you will feel better if you do it," he said. that asshole. that asshole i'm married to. the one who forgave my rage-y awfulness on sunday morning, because he knew what was up lonnnnnnnng before i did. something about the odd weight gain, the feeling gross, the violent mood swings... oh, and he has a calendar.

i knew i had to make a choice. i could keep eating or i could go to bed-- there was no willpower option. i also had to choose to go to bed or do my short training run and stay on schedule.

so i weighed my options. running is my key. running is going to get me there and keep me there. i'm not a natural runner, i don't love it and i don't get high. it's WORK. and i'm slow. i have a race in less than 4 weeks, the triplet of the one i bailed on. i have to finish.

i chose fitness over weight loss and ran.

and when i got home, wide awake now, i snacked more and i split 3 beers with him. if i had a weigh-in today, it would not have been pretty. but i don't. snacking afterward made it possible for me to get my workout in. shit happens.

today is a better day. i feel less mood-swingy and tired (guess why??) and i'll be fine tonight. we're baking bread for the solstice and i have a stationary bike ride scheduled.

anyone else feel like pms is worse the thinner you get??