you guys, this is just wrong

in my funeral outfit? i look... pretty hot.

don't worry, there's no merry widowish boob action or anything, but i look damn good. i ended up ONLY going to macy's and, frankly, our local one is the CRUMMIEST macy's ever. which is sad because it used to be a super nice strawbridge's before the buy-out.

i managed, through dumb luck, to stumble upon a lone size 12 pencil skirt on a rack of... cheetah print dresses? with... faux fur trim? and... i dunno. i averted my eyes. it was right outside the fitting room where clearly someone stashed it when they decided they didn't want it and didn't want to carry it the eighteen inches to the return rack. wth?

then i settled on a pretty plain, silk-cotton (i think?), 3/4 sleeve, cowl-neck sweater in charcoal.

i picked up some tights (HUE! unrippable!) in not the biggest size-- one pair irresistible argyle and one solid black, both super control-- and a cami in case the cowl was even remotely low, and was off.

to the shoe department, that is, where i snagged a pair of kenneth cole reaction wedge-heel, knee-high boots. for seventy five dollars. which my grandma gave me. HOT. DAMN.

seriously, this post isn't ENTIRELY about my funeral outfit. i mean, it is, but for a fat-related reason:

• skirt: 12
• sweater: m
• cami: m
• tights: one size 2 and one size 3 (out. of. FIVE.)
• knee-high boots? size 8.5 because i needed the extra quarter inch in the shaft. c'est la vie. and c'est la my fat calves.

and, a note on control-top.

for a loooooong time, i thought control top was bs. because, dude, it's all well and good if you're a statue, but the minute you sit or talk or breath, that shit is rolling down your tummy, digging into you and cutting off your circulation.

ah, but NOW! i am floppy! and smooshy! and i'll be damned if the control top didn't CONTROL. i'm looking all sleek and smooth. and i'm pretty comfortable! this, my friends, is love.

(yes, the shopping sucked monkey balls. i felt like i was teetering on the edge of 240 again, sweaty and lumpy and miserable. but it was so worth it.)

(yes, i also bought a three dollar packet of choco-covered almonds.)