i did what i thought i had to do to survive

i had a crazy good session with dr. y last night. it's been a while since i've felt like i, um, got in touch. with stuff. (why is this sounding dirty? it's not meant to...) but last night was hardcore. last night, at six thirty, i had my sunglasses on walking out of her office.

then i decided i just needed to relax and watch a dexter before i shredded. then my husband went out-- i encouraged him to, he'd had a bad day at work and i was not in a great mood-- and i decided on one more. then i got an email from my mom that bugged me. then i, very reluctantly, got ready to shred. i made it to the first set of push-ups before i burst into tears. the ones IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE WARM-UP. knee circles? they made my quads scream. it was that bad, yo.

i plopped back down at my desk to see a text from my husband replying to the one i'd sent him about the email:

don't let it ruin your shred!

HA! too late now. i didn't do it. i know i should have. i know i'd feel happier, more motivated, stronger and all-around awesomer if i had, but i didn't. i watched two sitcoms on hulu and another episode of dexter.

i didn't get my evening treat (light egg nog) because i didn't burn the calories. i'll shred when i get home tonight, and i'll shred tomorrow. i think, maybe, it's unreasonable to plan to shred after therapy (before which we always eat a ruby tuesday) so i'll add a saturday shred on my therapy weeks.

i'm a little proud of my ruby tuesday'ing, by the way, i told the mister yesterday morning that i WOULD UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES eat any appetizer and that i would order the petite sirloin with mashed potatoes and broccoli. and i did just that. i didn't even eat the deep-fried onion business that came with my steak. funny story: rt's mashed potatoes appear to have less fat AND fewer calories than the mashed cauliflower. wtf?? i only ate half anyway.

well, i've shuffled my food plans for today around to accommodate my half-assed breakfasting and the two truffles that are staring at me. it's gonna be okay. i'm picking up RIGHT NOW.