exercise? what's that? where did my hour-a-day mojo go? i dunno, but as things continue on a slooooooooooooooooooow downward motion, i'm dangerously content. i'm swinging a solid 14 in pants now, which means a 12 in everything else (thighs. of. doom.) and while i would have LOVED to be all thin and dainty this summer, it's almost like NOT being thin and dainty this summer gives me a whole year to do it right. we're buying a recumbent exercise bike and some heavier than 5-pounds weights and i'm eating enough and protein and produce and everything's gonna be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
i just wish i could put a date on it. like, on december 31, 2009, i will be IN SHAPE. wait, is that reasonable? it just seems that no matter what sort of goal i set, it never works out that way.
count down to goal
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
awkwardness
my boss is an old friend (and business partner) of my dad's. he must weigh 450 pounds. i had NO IDEA how to react when he commented on my weight this morning. it went like this:
bossman: "you're looking well."
becklette: "..."
bossman: "like you've lost quite a bit of weight."
becklette: "... um?"
bossman: "haven't you?"
becklette: "i guess."
bossman: "you guess?"
becklette: "yes, i have."
bossman: "you're looking well."
becklette: "thank you."
bossman: "how do you feel?"
becklette: "um...? good."
SO uncomfortable. SO. SO. SO.
in totally unrelated news... i walked to the grocery store last night, bought 2 of those little bottles of lemon juice, 2 packs of 3-cup disposable plastic containers and a liter of seltzer and then i walked home. 3 miles round-trip. no longer than my usual walks on the track, but harder, with hills and balancing and carrying things.
this means i (WE?) could conceivably WALK to starbucks on a weekend morning for a light frapp. hoo-ray!
bossman: "you're looking well."
becklette: "..."
bossman: "like you've lost quite a bit of weight."
becklette: "... um?"
bossman: "haven't you?"
becklette: "i guess."
bossman: "you guess?"
becklette: "yes, i have."
bossman: "you're looking well."
becklette: "thank you."
bossman: "how do you feel?"
becklette: "um...? good."
SO uncomfortable. SO. SO. SO.
in totally unrelated news... i walked to the grocery store last night, bought 2 of those little bottles of lemon juice, 2 packs of 3-cup disposable plastic containers and a liter of seltzer and then i walked home. 3 miles round-trip. no longer than my usual walks on the track, but harder, with hills and balancing and carrying things.
this means i (WE?) could conceivably WALK to starbucks on a weekend morning for a light frapp. hoo-ray!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
like, what's my motivation?
dear becklette:
on sunday it was that creepy blister. on monday you were just too tired. on tuesday it was raining. what will be your excuse tonight?
it's been at least 3 weeks since i did a push-up or sit-up; at least a week since i decided to add squats to my thrice-weekly routine. it's been three days since i've laced up my sneakers and hit the track for even a leisurely walk.
tonight i'm going to sweat-- hard-- for an hour. tonight i'm going to do 30 sit-ups, 15 push-ups and as many squats as i can.
i leave for florida in 21 days-- just enough time to kick my body into some semblance of shape.
my efforts to spend my calories more wisely were going well, and still aren't going too badly. i didn't get up this morning to scramble my egg + white and nuke my facon; instead i ate two crackers. in an hour or so i'll eat one of my leftover mini turkey burgers. (we ate at ruby tuesday last night and i planned for 1/2 a turkey burger wrap, mashed cauliflower and 1/4 of a classic sampler for 775 calories. except they are CURRENTLY changing their menu and the turkey burger wrap exists only in theory as yet. so i got the turkey burger minis and ate 2. which turned out to be 500 calories. which is about 225 more than half the wrap.)
i am tired of this fight. exhausted. i have to fight harder.
on sunday it was that creepy blister. on monday you were just too tired. on tuesday it was raining. what will be your excuse tonight?
it's been at least 3 weeks since i did a push-up or sit-up; at least a week since i decided to add squats to my thrice-weekly routine. it's been three days since i've laced up my sneakers and hit the track for even a leisurely walk.
tonight i'm going to sweat-- hard-- for an hour. tonight i'm going to do 30 sit-ups, 15 push-ups and as many squats as i can.
i leave for florida in 21 days-- just enough time to kick my body into some semblance of shape.
my efforts to spend my calories more wisely were going well, and still aren't going too badly. i didn't get up this morning to scramble my egg + white and nuke my facon; instead i ate two crackers. in an hour or so i'll eat one of my leftover mini turkey burgers. (we ate at ruby tuesday last night and i planned for 1/2 a turkey burger wrap, mashed cauliflower and 1/4 of a classic sampler for 775 calories. except they are CURRENTLY changing their menu and the turkey burger wrap exists only in theory as yet. so i got the turkey burger minis and ate 2. which turned out to be 500 calories. which is about 225 more than half the wrap.)
i am tired of this fight. exhausted. i have to fight harder.
Monday, May 04, 2009
april showers bring... may showers?
well, lookie, lookie! it's a ticker that says 60-something pounds lost! thank goodness i made it (by the skin of my teeth) back down here for weigh-in. granted, yesterday i was 173.8, but that's just how it's been lately.
as you can see, non-scale fitness goals remain the same for may as they were for april because of the sickness, the rain and the oh, hey, i actually DO have asthma-- it's not just being fat and smoking (cause, hi, i lost 60 pounds, quite smoking and got in good enough shape to walk 5 miles without having to elevate my feet for the next two days)-- so i have to go to the doctor next week. my doctor is sort of superficial. professionally speaking. she is an adolescent weight loss specialist who offers laser hair & scar removal in her office. she's a southeast asian woman with dyed blond hair and green contact lenses. she can't seem to stop suggesting that i check out weight watchers. she should be really pleased with me, doncha think? i adore external validation...
okay, um, anyway. i didn't go on my 2-hour walk yesterday because i had the strangest blister from saturday's-- it was right behind the ball of my foot and i SWEAR i could hear the fluid squelching around each step i took by the end of my 5 miles at the track. so. gross. but the blister didn't become visible until way later and i thought i was going crazy. any thoughts on how to avoid this oddly place blister? also, i haven't gotten back in the strength-training swing and i HAVE TO do that tonight. 24 days to florida.
so... i'd like to be down to 165 in 3.5 weeks, obviously, but that's unlikely. after that, i want 155 by 4th of july; 145 by labor day; 135 by halloween.
(i shouldn't even jinx myself like that.)
it looks so simple laid out like that, doesn't it? but i know it's not. and there's no reason the next 40 pounds should go EASY. i just... sigh. i'm ready for this struggle to be OVER. or, at least, in maintenance.
as you can see, non-scale fitness goals remain the same for may as they were for april because of the sickness, the rain and the oh, hey, i actually DO have asthma-- it's not just being fat and smoking (cause, hi, i lost 60 pounds, quite smoking and got in good enough shape to walk 5 miles without having to elevate my feet for the next two days)-- so i have to go to the doctor next week. my doctor is sort of superficial. professionally speaking. she is an adolescent weight loss specialist who offers laser hair & scar removal in her office. she's a southeast asian woman with dyed blond hair and green contact lenses. she can't seem to stop suggesting that i check out weight watchers. she should be really pleased with me, doncha think? i adore external validation...
okay, um, anyway. i didn't go on my 2-hour walk yesterday because i had the strangest blister from saturday's-- it was right behind the ball of my foot and i SWEAR i could hear the fluid squelching around each step i took by the end of my 5 miles at the track. so. gross. but the blister didn't become visible until way later and i thought i was going crazy. any thoughts on how to avoid this oddly place blister? also, i haven't gotten back in the strength-training swing and i HAVE TO do that tonight. 24 days to florida.
so... i'd like to be down to 165 in 3.5 weeks, obviously, but that's unlikely. after that, i want 155 by 4th of july; 145 by labor day; 135 by halloween.
(i shouldn't even jinx myself like that.)
it looks so simple laid out like that, doesn't it? but i know it's not. and there's no reason the next 40 pounds should go EASY. i just... sigh. i'm ready for this struggle to be OVER. or, at least, in maintenance.
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