like, what's my motivation?

dear becklette:

on sunday it was that creepy blister. on monday you were just too tired. on tuesday it was raining. what will be your excuse tonight?

it's been at least 3 weeks since i did a push-up or sit-up; at least a week since i decided to add squats to my thrice-weekly routine. it's been three days since i've laced up my sneakers and hit the track for even a leisurely walk.

tonight i'm going to sweat-- hard-- for an hour. tonight i'm going to do 30 sit-ups, 15 push-ups and as many squats as i can.

i leave for florida in 21 days-- just enough time to kick my body into some semblance of shape.

my efforts to spend my calories more wisely were going well, and still aren't going too badly. i didn't get up this morning to scramble my egg + white and nuke my facon; instead i ate two crackers. in an hour or so i'll eat one of my leftover mini turkey burgers. (we ate at ruby tuesday last night and i planned for 1/2 a turkey burger wrap, mashed cauliflower and 1/4 of a classic sampler for 775 calories. except they are CURRENTLY changing their menu and the turkey burger wrap exists only in theory as yet. so i got the turkey burger minis and ate 2. which turned out to be 500 calories. which is about 225 more than half the wrap.)

i am tired of this fight. exhausted. i have to fight harder.