count down to goal

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

heidi montag used to be pretty

the lipo, i get. who doesn't want to be thinner in specific areas while maintaining what (little) curvaceousness she has? but the boobs? how does she sleep? and the face. oh, man, she was PRETTY. not beautiful or striking or exotic or ugly but oddly appealing, she was honest-to-god PRETTY.

my mother asked me yesterday if i was done losing weight. "you weigh what you weighed in high school, right? why would anyone want anything better than that??"

i wasn't thin in high school like you were, mom. besides, my upper body is smaller but my lower body is stubbornly the same size (i think! i'll tell you after my size 31-- nee 12-- jeans arrive from loft tomorrow). i wear an actual medium top now. like, for real for real. i'm getting rid of larges. my husband brought me this dress back from florida in a medium. it could be snugger in the bust.

a medium.

i'm wearing an ann taylor top i bought, oh, maybe two years ago? for less than $10. i had it in two colors in large and loved it, so when it went way on sale i bought the mediums. in three colors. last week, i swear, the large fit. today, though, i'm wearing a medium and it's just right. weird.

i wonder if i'm going to need smalls ever. i'm hoping to get down to 150ish but The Wedding and 140ish by mid-july. shit. i think another 20 pounds might mean another size. never thought of it. balls.

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