a pound every four days. one and three-quarters pound a week. starting... NOW. seriously, 166.0. not 1/5th of a pound fluctuation all week?? whatev.
it has been a tough week. the end-point of 150-156 is looking more and more unlikely. and it wasn't an unreasonable goal. i didn't work out last night OR this morning and i feel awful about it. i need to pick up and dust off, like, for real for real. i've made peace with the shitstorm and i really want inner peace to = outer beauty. (okay! okay! THINNESS. i want it to mean THINNESS.)
of course, i am, at this very moment, eating oreos. that does seem counter-productive...
i made a get-in-real-shape-really plan for NEXT year (what? you think i can abandon my physical fitness and not get really fat again. side note: when will i not think i'm fat? ever??). now i just have to meet my weight/size goal-- and yes, i do think i'll go down another size when i'm all buff and shit-- because OHMYGOD i need to be DOOOOOOOONE. and i know i won't be able to walk away unless i made it.
two weeks to thanksgiving. i want to see 165 next week (or 164) and then i'm going to do a little pulse of seriously-don't-fuck-up and try for 160 for the food-centric holiday.