yesterday's 5k was... different. it FELT different. everywhere you looked there were super-muscled RUNNERS wearing vibrams and little else. there were model-thin women with two kids in a jogging stroller (one an infant!). there were guys who looked like extras from baywatch. no friends, no community. the sponsors were brooks and some waterbottle people, not local businesses. this shit was for real.
we started out at the very back of the line. well, there were six people behind us but they all passed us immediately. it was hot. 90* and muggy. soon, i was last and k was shouting encouragement over her shoulder. i couldn't catch my breath. i tried to think of krissie, finishing a 10 mile trail run dead last and being proud of herself, but i just couldn't breathe and less than half a mile in, sweat was pouring off of me. i slowed to a walk, and, as i approached the street we'd parked on, just shy of the mile marker, i unpinned my bib and quit.
my eating has been all over the place and my drinking has been... yeah. i smoked for most of the past month, up to saturday. our next race is in 5 weeks. i'm going to finish.