count down to goal

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

i like a nice foot.... er, a round number, i mean

okay. -70 is good. it's a solid loss. it's what i've been saying i've "just about" lost since... fourth of july? goddamn, i need to get a move on. tonight i have bk! tomorrow spinning! thursday rest, friday more spinning! it's getting easy to hit my calories-- i've bulked up my breakfast AGAIN to include my awesome french toast AND turkey bacon AND grapefruit.

so... today i go to the, ahem, lady doctor. dr. l is PHENOMENAL. i love her. i love her because she respects my anxiety and has her ma come and hold my hand during the pap. i love her because it takes her exactly point three seconds to get in, get her sample and get out. i love her because everytime she sees me, she exclaims at how much weight i've lost.

dr. l was the first person i discussed my weight with. i was just engaged and planning to have babies pretty much right away. maybe we'd wait a year. but, oh! fat = infertility! and = ceserean! and = spina bifida! and = gestational diabetes! (not really, i know that now.) so i cried in her office that i wanted to have BAAAAAAAAAAAYBEEEEEEEES and to do that i'd have to lose 100 pounds, right? tell me that's not true, pleeeeeeeeeease? she pulled out a little chart, "oh NO," she assured me, "i'd just like to see you at 145." i was, at the time, 236. that's 91 pounds.

now the plan is totally different. no babies til you graduate, that's the rule. that means i could take 2.5 years losing these last 21 pounds. which is good, because a pound a month is just about where i've been...

i feel sort of silly going back to her. i'd expected to have at least one kid by now. (to be fair, all of our friends have kids. like, ALL. except for two couples who are much younger than we and not married.) and every year, after she exclaims about my weight loss, but before she feels me up, she asks about those imaginary babies. i hope i don't cry this year.

so, focus: make it through my pap. meet my targets (calories, nutrition & water). kick my serious arm day's ass. get hyped up to SPIIIIIIN tomorrow.

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