miss universe

for september 22, 2009: 165 pounds.

yesterday: i miscalculated my calories and ended up over goal by 90. and they were from one of those single-serving tubs of ben & jerry's. yum. the spoon it comes with is like eating ice cream off a thumbnail-- it's really that little. but i did go on a 30 minute walk.

today i had tot be at work early, so i grabbed some of the new tj's flax cereal i bought. it was sweetened. bummer. on to greek yogurt, chicken salad salad, tomatoes and dinner tbd.

in other news...

the competitor from venezuela won the miss universe contest AGAIN this year.


shortly after my grandfather died, i started spending a lot of nights at my grandmother's house-- i did up until i moved in with my husband about 3 1/4 years ago. i remember one night, about ten years ago, watching the miss universe pageant. miss venezuela was, as always (as they all are), stunningly beautiful.


"you could have a cute little figure like that miss venezuela," my grandmother told me, as we munched on our pretzels and ice cream.


i doubt, at the time, that i weighed more than 150 pounds. but, naturally, i felt HUMONGOUS. those women weight much less than me and were all at least 4 inches taller. i felt like a beast.


i still feel like a beast some times. i know my grandmother is thrilled with my weight loss-- we are italian, though, so that's balanced with an insistance that i need to eat more-- but i still couldn't fit into her wedding dress.


on sunday, at my parents' house, she rubbed her (considerable, but hey, she's nearing eighty!) abdomen and announced, "i gotta get rid of this BELLY. how'd you do it?" ummm, diet and exercise. and tight, high-waisted jeans, it's like wearing a girdle.