yesterday, a coworker of my husband's brought him three pints of homemade-- yes, HOMEMADE-- gelato. she & her husband have a side business making the creamy, frozen nectar of the gods. do i want to be her best friend? you bet.
i'm not going to lie to you. we cracked open the chocolate creme when we walked in the door, just for two bites, just to taste it. then all three (chocolate creme, mint chocolate chip and mocha espresso) went in the freezer and he set to work finishing the cleaning and i set to work making dinner for our guest.
after she went home, i cleaned up everything (HIS. JOB.) while he ate about 3/4 of the chocolate creme. after i finished, i got the pint out, went into the living room, sat next to him and started in, not planning on finishing it, taking small bites to savor the magical flavor of real whipped cream and homemade fudge sauce spun together into this innocuous-looking, pale beige ice cream. as i lifted the second bit to my mouth, he opened his, "can i have some?"
of course i played his little one for you/one for me game for about three bites before i realized this makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to stay in control. sharing food had always been one of our *things*-- one plate of pasta for dinner, passing take-out cartons back and forth, often just one fork. but it makes me greedy. if i make pasta and put two thirds on one plat and one third on the other, i can sit and savor and ENJOY my food. if we share, i feel compelled to keep up (one for me, two for him) or he'll eat it all.
that gelato? is was orgasmic. after the few shared bites i walked away, hung up my laundry and brushed my teeth. i returned to the bottom of the pint exposed. "that's all you," he said, "sorry i almost housed it."
i wanted to scream. SORRY?! why didn't you just NOT DO IT? why can't i have ANYTHING that you don't take some of? why do you say you're not hungry until i make/get food and then eat most of it?? why when i tell you that i intend to spend my next bonus after goal on clothes do you balk and pout for a share?? but i didn't. everybody's got their stuff and he doesn't need me being a brat about his.
i put it in the freezer and may eat it this afternoon when i'm home before him. or i may not. i just can't share food with him any more.
(note: i do love my husband to itty-bitty pieces and he's really NOT a jerk. he's just... weird.)