okay, so ellen commented on my last post that she feel more confident buying indulgences when she's otherwise on track than when she's otherwise off track but buying a whole cart of healthy foods.
interesting.
i talk about food now. i'm a foodie and an excellent (if i do say so myself) cook. at every family gathering my husband's uncles ask me which baked good i brought, and they can usually guess just by looking. friends of friends jump at the chance to come over for dinner because they've heard that a weeknight dinner at our apartment is not to be missed. i'm highly critical of restaurants and very, very picky about where i'll eat. foodie, here. surprised? how'd you think i got that fat??
but i never talked about it. i never told an aunt about a great recipe. i never told acquaintances that i have a cooking blog. i never told a waitress that HELL NO i will not be sharing my dessert crepe! i never admitted that i LOVE cooking and practice baking. i never said out loud that i intend to make my second career of running a bistro/bakery with local artwork for sale and an admirable craft beer selection.
because, GOD, look at the FAT GIRL. in love with FOOD.
and now... i do. i happily tell in-laws what i've named my imaginary bistro and that my mother is going to retire to make my pie crusts. i revealed my food blog as my website on facebook! i eat wonderful, fresh, delicious foods and serve them to my guests. and TALK about it!
i feel like i'm *allowed* now. because i'm not as fat. (still fat, mind you, just not AS fat.)
2 comments:
Yeah, minds are crazy things some times. Thanks for getting my own mind a-thinking :) We are total foodies, too!! I love creating amazing meals. Some are light and fresh and healthy and I would feel confident talking about them to anyone and not feel judged. Others are amazing and rich and decadent and more calories than one should eat in an entire day (cream, parmesan, butter, olive oil, fresh pugilese bread...etc., etc.), and these are the meals that EVEN if they are reserved for a couple of times a year for celebrations (anniversary, valentines, etc.), I never want to share the menu with the judgmental world. DH has no qualms sharing, because I think he's just stoked at what I created for him or what we created together. He seems to have no issues because he recognizes it isn't like we have that all the time. My brain doesn't seem to work that way. I don't want people to think, "No wonder she's so fat if she cooks like that." I think I need to stop caring/thinking about what others are thinking!
I soo agree with you! Although I'm not where I want to be or close. I'm trying to break out of the fear of being the fat girl that eats. What's your food blog? I love seeing food blogs!
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