okay, so ellen commented on my last post that she feel more confident buying indulgences when she's otherwise on track than when she's otherwise off track but buying a whole cart of healthy foods.
i talk about food now. i'm a foodie and an excellent (if i do say so myself) cook. at every family gathering my husband's uncles ask me which baked good i brought, and they can usually guess just by looking. friends of friends jump at the chance to come over for dinner because they've heard that a weeknight dinner at our apartment is not to be missed. i'm highly critical of restaurants and very, very picky about where i'll eat. foodie, here. surprised? how'd you think i got that fat??
but i never talked about it. i never told an aunt about a great recipe. i never told acquaintances that i have a cooking blog. i never told a waitress that HELL NO i will not be sharing my dessert crepe! i never admitted that i LOVE cooking and practice baking. i never said out loud that i intend to make my second career of running a bistro/bakery with local artwork for sale and an admirable craft beer selection.
because, GOD, look at the FAT GIRL. in love with FOOD.
and now... i do. i happily tell in-laws what i've named my imaginary bistro and that my mother is going to retire to make my pie crusts. i revealed my food blog as my website on facebook! i eat wonderful, fresh, delicious foods and serve them to my guests. and TALK about it!
i feel like i'm *allowed* now. because i'm not as fat. (still fat, mind you, just not AS fat.)