okay. i know lots of women have complexes about their bodies that they can trace back to their fathers. an i'm not just talking about weight here. i know girls who are as tall as their fathers and feel bad about it. i'm sure there are girls who are embarrassed by their boobs because of comments their fathers made about their mothers. i'm sure.
i'm not one of them.
my dad has NEVER, EVER in my life commented on my body. now, i've seen his embarrassment when my sister dressed inappropriately and i know he feels a little scrawny around his young, buff, TALL sons, but the only thing my dad has EVER said about my appearance is, "you look beautiful, sweetie." and that's because my daddy rocks. any questions?
so, why is it that his friends, business acquaintances and peers think it's okay to ask about my weight?
obviously, it happened again. the it guy at work was in and, lo, it was awkward.
i'm sitting here, minding my own business and the it guy is sitting there, working on my roommate's computer. "so," he says as he fiddles with a printer cable, "have you like, lost some weight?"
"yes." this, i've found, is the only way i'm comfortable answering that question.
"um. you look... good."
"thanks."
looooong quiet and then he started to set up my roommate's virus update stuff, so he asked me when the roommate is usually in. i tell him 9-4 three or four days a week, but if the roommate needs to do something, he should tell me because dude is 70 and hits "enter" at the end of every line of text and then insists he doesn't. it guy asks if her hears a little *ding* too. i say i can't vouch for what he hears and it guy says, "i'm sorry, this is fun, but i can't get into this. it's a little unprofessional for me to get in to petty office politics."
oh, okay. but for you to make a comment about my BODY is totally professional??
okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
in other news, i managed to restrain myself and NOT eat everything in the world FINALLY yesterday, though i do have to admit to 3 tj's mini milk chocolate bars (190c) and a bowl of cous cous with scallions (250c) for dinner. but i was within my calories... just, sugar and carby. i like the scale again. hooray.
2 comments:
I'm not sure about the professionalism of it all. He was likely a clueless rube who thought he was doing something nice. You have lost a great deal and the difference must be noticeable. It was probably not so much about your body (He didn't say "Great thighs!", right?) but about the achievement of your hard work. I would be inclined to cut him some slack.
i know, clueless guys often think they're doing the right thing, but you have to admit, it IS unprofessional to comment on someone's body at work (what if he'd said, "have you gained weight? you look good!" end result is a compliment, but how would we take it?). and the major ick factor comes from this man, like my boss, being a peer and friend to my father and knowing me since childhood.
but, yes, lots of guys are trained to point out thinness and it's mostly because it's the only compliment their wives like to hear.
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