the test was awful. as i hinted a little yesterday, it was a colposcopy, a follow-up to an abnormal pap. ahhhh, preventative medicine. here's the thing about abnormal paps IF you get yours annually:
- it might be nothing-- a yeast infection, a million other things
- it might be SOMETHING that will go away on its own and you have to have more frequent paps until it does
- it might be SOMETHING that's probably fine but potentially precancerous, in which case, they MIGHT want to freeze, cut or electrocute the abnormal bits off.
- it might be precancerous
- it might be cancer
- if it's cancer, it's so incredibly early there's like a 99% survival rate-- especially, i suppose, if you're willing to get rid of your uterus post-haste, which i am
so, anyway. i feel pretty good, except for the site of my 2nd hpv vaccine shot (LONG STORY) which hurts like a sonofabitch and if i recall from two years ago when i got the first one, will for the next month. hooray. as e asked, my hooha is okay. for now. eta: i won't get the actual results for a week or so, and i don't think it's *great* news that i needed a biopsy, but i was fine last year. so.
it is wrong and sick and fucked up that i have actually thought, well, if it's cancer and i have chemo, i'll be sure to lose a few pounds. i think i feel free to have that kind of thought because dr. google practically promised i won't die.
so. anyway. i got my traditional post-gyno sbux. (come one. who among us doesn't feel like she deserves a treat after being violated by a mascara brush??) ordered my light frappe, picked up my chicken & veggie wraps and the BAM would you like a free pastry? WOULD I?! i got a reduced fat banana chocolate chip coffee cake. and i made it fit in my calories. i also had a pretty stunning dinner of scrambled eggs with broccoli. the trick is to put the broccoli in first. NOM.
oh, and i suppose i'll update to today's less-than-thrilling weight: 165.6.